Friendface.co.uk Text Deciphered!

23 12 2008

If anyone was watching The IT Crowd last week, you would remember the whole plot revolved around a Facebook style website called “Friendface”.

Well there is a real official website at www.friendface.co.uk!

Except when you load the site you get a Reynholm Industries error message (I had nothing to do with this, I assure you!)

Well I’ve had nothing better to do tonight, so I  deciphered the blurry text on the page for everyone who was curious what it says. This is genuine, I did this by matching the symbols to where they appeared in the rest of the paragraph. The little upside down V with a dot above it is an ‘A’, and so on.

Here you go:

The text from www.friendface.co.uk, deciphered!

The text from www.friendface.co.uk, deciphered!

Update: I just found out that someone else beat me by 4 hours, it’s on Graham Linehan’s blog

Still, we’re both happy that someone else could confirm we got it right :)





Best Customer Service!

21 12 2008

Well last week I made the decision to port my mobile phone across from Optus to Three.

(I should point out that I work for Optus, and I was on a staff plan with very cheap call rates).

I chose a $29 cap with $150 in calls, and a $5 data pack with 20MB included (plus unlimited access to some useful sites like YourGigs and YourBars).

Signing up was easy, I didn’t need a new handset so I just ordered a SIM online, which was delivered on the day it was promised. To port the number across I had to fill in a form and fax it back (standard procedure), I chose 15/12/08 as the date to port my number.

On that day at around lunchtime, my phone said “Inactive SIM”, so I took the Optus SIM out and put the Three SIM in. Immediately it started working, as expected.

I logged onto the website and tried to setup an account (for tracking usage, changing your settings, paying bills etc), but it couldn’t locate my number. I figured it was just because my number had only just ported across and it would take a day or two, but I called them anyway just in case.

No voice recognition menu, they have a simple “Press 1 for X, Press 2 for Y” menu system. I put my mobile number in, 5 seconds later I’m speaking to an Indian customer service rep (Three’s customer service is entirely outsourced, I already knew this). She asked me for my name and PIN. Every Three customer has to choose a PIN, it’s much faster to ID people that way! I said I was having trouble setting up my account, she doublechecked everything for me, reconfirmed my account number and said “it’s because your mobile has only just been activated, try again in 24 hours and it should work”. So I tried the next day, and it worked immediately!

A few days later, I received an email from Optus saying my mobile account is ready to view. I have online billing, I have to login to the website and download a PDF to view my bills. So I tried to login as I always do, and there were no mobile account numbers listed. I tried to put my number in and re-link the account, no luck! I know a bill’s been generated, but I can’t see it!

So I called Optus and went through the voice recognition menu (IVR), which I’m an expert on using now. I got an email a few weeks ago at work saying that customers can now use the IVR to check their account balance, it will read it out automatically. I figured this would be nice and easy so I tried it.

IVR: “Using just a few words, please explain the reason for your call”
ME: “Account Balance”
IVR: “So that’s a question about your account balance, is that correct?”
ME: “Yes”
IVR: “And is that about your mobile, home phone or internet service?”
ME: “Mobile”
IVR: “OK, to allow me to locate your account, please say your mobile number, or if you wish you can type it in using your keypad”
ME: “04XX-XXX-XXX”
IVR: “So that’s 04XX-XXX-XXX, is that correct?”
ME: “Yes”
IVR: “One moment while I transfer you to one of our general enquiries and billing staff”

(What the hell??? I thought this was meant to be automated! Anyway I get put through to some customer service rep, she was Australian)

REP: “Welcome to Optus, this is X, can I start with your mobile number?”
ME: “I put my number into the IVR, didn’t it come through?”
REP: “No it didn’t” (Optus has changed to a new caller ID system which doesn’t work most of the time, and most staff aren’t trained in how to fix it)
ME: “It’s 04XX-XXX-XXX”
REP: “And can I have your name, address and date of birth?”
ME: “Yes it’s …….” (What a pain compared to the PIN with Three)

Anyway she told me how much money was due, apparently I have some money overdue but seeing as I can’t view my bill I have no way of disputing the charges! Even though I’ve canceled my Optus service, I should be able to login and view my bills, at least for 6 months after disconnecting. What if I needed them for tax reasons? If I’m missing 12 months worth of bills, I’d have to get customer service to reprint them, a total cost of $60! I’m going to get my supervisor’s permission to view them at work on Monday before I pay anything. The customer service rep was insisting on getting details on when I’ll make a payment for the overdue money, I said:

ME: “I’ll pay when I receive a bill”
REP: “If you don’t pay soon, you may be subject to financial services action”
ME: “What does that mean?” (knowing the answer already)
REP: “You may have your service barred”
ME: “But I just said I’ve ported out my number to Three”
REP: “Yes, that’s right”
ME: “So Optus is going to call Three and tell them to bar my mobile service, just because I haven’t paid my Optus bill?”

I’d take a smart Indian rep over a dumb Australian one anyday…

I’ve only had one problem since porting, which is that Optus customers can’t send MMS (picture messages) to me anymore. I can send them to myself and they work, and I can send them to other people (including Optus), but when someone on Optus sends one to me it sits in my inbox unread, and I can’t download the attachment. I get a “Download Error. Communication Failed” message.

I tried different handsets with the same error message. Tried 2 different Optus people, same error. Even tried different images, same error.

I called Three tech support, the rep was friendly enough but it was a little difficult to get her to understand the problem. Eventually she knew what I meant and realised it wasn’t something she could fix, so she logged a support case for me with their technicians. I figured this was what they’d have to do, I assumed something hasn’t completed with the port process. I guessed if I was porting to Three from Vodafone, I wouldn’t be able to receive MMS from Vodafone customers. She promised me a callback within 48 hours.

Sure enough, 2 days later I received a callback from them, but she said “unfortunately we haven’t received a response back from Telstra yet (they control the numbers), but we’re working on it and someone should contact you within the next few days”. Fair enough, it’s outside their control, but I’m thrilled they kept their promise and kept me in the loop!

And then today, on a SUNDAY, I receive two MMS messages come through, from two numbers I don’t recognise. The second MMS said “test mms from vodafone handset, reply ‘ok’ if received”. So I replied “ok”. I then received a phone call from a technician at Three (He was Australian, working on a sunday!!) and he said he had sent me 4 MMS. One from a Three mobile (successful), one from Vodafone (successful), one from Telstra and one from Optus. After the call I received one more MMS but the attachment wouldn’t download, so I’d assume that one came from an Optus mobile. The Telstra one didn’t turn up at all for some reason. He said they’re going to keep working on it and he’ll call me back when he has an update, but he’s probably going to have to get in touch with Telstra and Optus to fix what appears to be a porting problem.

If I said I was impressed with the way Three treats their customers, it would be a complete understatement. I didn’t have to get transferred once, the staff were knowledgeable and friendly, and most importantly their computer systems work!





My vBulletin Rant

18 12 2008

I’m just going through www.vbulletin.org reading through mods and template edits for the Soul Food Cafe forum, just to see if there’s anything useful to make my life easier.

There are some absolutely ridiculous mods there, to the point where I wonder why the author bothered to post it in the first place.

One mod replaces the post editor, which usually looks like this:

See that, nice and simple, completely not confusing for your members.

The mod turns it into this MySpace wannabe monstrosity:
vbulletin2

It’s absolutely ghastly!

And what’s the deal with all these authors not bothering to include a screenshot? Is it seriously that difficult to press “Print Screen” and attach a JPEG to your post?

I’m sick of having to click “DEMO” and go to some hideous and painfully slow forum just to see what the mod does. It’s not like the description ever explains it, it’s usually in some terrible cross between English and who knows what language. And the mod titles are usually just as confusing.

One mod was called “Advanced Menu”. You’d think logically that it would give you some kind of more complex or more detailed menu option. What does it actually do? It disables right-clicking and selecting text, two of the most annoying and arrogant things a webmaster can do to their members.

Another mod adds pictures next to member usernames on the forum. Do you really want your members to have that kind of power over how your forum looks? Don’t give your members that ability, MySpace gave the general public the power to control a webpage and look what they all came up with!

There’s a reason why I would rather close my site down than give my members access to the MARQUEE and BLINK tags. Hell, I even made “posting in an unreadable text color” against the rules of my forum, I’ve even had to hand out the occasional infraction (my other members were very appreciative)!

Of course, you can’t tell an author how stupid, annoying and pointless their work is, and how they’re actually damaging the whole internet. They’ll just assume you’re personally attacking them and try to get your post removed.

So instead you have to vent on your blog.

Look at this mod description:

Basically this creats a button with whatever message you put into it,
and when a user clicks it a popup alert comes up with a message they
placed.

Yeah that makes perfect sense, and I totally didn’t need to read it 5 times to work out what the hell you were trying to say. And yes, those screenshots were completely unnecessary.





IT Crowd Office Supplies

14 12 2008

Just in case anyone’s wondering where the IT Crowd items on Zazzle are from, here are the originals from Series 3 episode 3:

Original:

reynholm1

Zazzle:

Original:

reynholm2

Zazzle:

Original:

reynholm3

Zazzle:

Buy them from here: http://www.zazzle.com/reynholm/





Reynholm Industries Update!

6 12 2008

Reynholm (New)I’ve just done a major update of www.reynholm.co.uk

There’s now a new “secret” page and an Office Supplies store (near-exact replicas of props on the TV show, all artwork recreated by hand).

And I’ve updated the color scheme too, to fit more with the show’s look.

Feedback welcome!

(I may be updating some of the intranet wallpapers soon too, stay tuned)

Also very happy to see that the staff ID Cards in the intranet are nearly identical to the ones featured in the latest episode of the show.





The WDAP Ghetto Funk Power Hour

5 12 2008

Daptone RecordsHosted by Binky Griptite and featuring all the stars from Daptone Records:

http://www.daptonerecords.com

Possibly the funkiest hour of music ever recorded!

Download here: WDAP Ghetto Funk Power Hour (MP3)





A Wall-climbing R/C Car?

5 12 2008

ThinkGeek has one now!

For sale here: http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/rc/aeec/

Product Features

  • R/C car can race on walls using internal vacuum system
  • Full control including forward/backward and right or left turns
  • Charges from remote: 15 minute charge time, 8 minute drive time




Coffee – Niemann Opinion Art Blog

5 12 2008

This is a very entertaining set of artwork about coffee:

Coffee – Niemann Opinion Art Blog – Abstract City – NYTimes.com.

Surprisingly close to my own story, although a few months I gave up my 3-5 coffees per day habit and switched to tea. I might have 1-2 coffees a month now, it’s a hard habit to kick.

I’m trying to get myself drinking green tea more, it’s not exactly pleasant but I’m slowly getting used to the taste. Amazing how much of a different the right water temperature makes!





My first Twitter Fail Whale!

5 12 2008

Trying to update my Twitter picture, just got the infamous “Fail Whale” error.

You’ll have to excuse my excitement, it’s my first time and he’s something of a celebrity :)

He has his own fan club: http://failwhale.com





THE HIPTONES present “I KNOW YOU GOT SOUL” show

5 12 2008

hiptones_soul2

THE HIPTONES present
I KNOW YOU GOT SOUL
Soul Review Show
@ THE GOV on Sunday 7 December
Doors open 7.30
PLEASE NOTE: The SOUL REVIEW band is now 11 piece and features:

Snooks La Vie vocals, harmonica
Narmon ’Brother T’ Tulsi hammond
Nick Kipridis guitar
Damien Steele Scott bass
Andrew Bignell drums
Adam Page & Chris Soole saxophones
Chris Weber trumpet
Zkye & Jayne-Anne Power backing vocals
Joel Prime percussion

Ticket details:
$30 + booking fee ($35 at the door)
Tickets can be purchased:
From THE GOV with cash / credit – at the bar 11am to 9pm Monday to Saturday,
Over the phone with credit 11am to 9pm Monday to Saturday: 8340 0744
From Moshtix outlets or http://www.moshtix.com.au
From Venue*Tix outlets or www.venuetix.com.au